The Perfect Parable for a Dating Analogy

The Parable of the Weeds

24 Jesus told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field. 25 But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away. 26 When the wheat sprouted and formed heads, then the weeds also appeared.

27 “The owner’s servants came to him and said, ‘Sir, didn’t you sow good seed in your field? Where then did the weeds come from?’

28 “‘An enemy did this,’ he replied.

“The servants asked him, ‘Do you want us to go and pull them up?’

29 “‘No,’ he answered, ‘because while you are pulling the weeds, you may uproot the wheat with them. 30 Let both grow together until the harvest. At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.’”

(Matthew 13:24-30)

The weeds referred to here are tares, a kind of darnel. The most common of its species. It is as tall as wheat and resembles wheat in appearance. They are in fact almost completely identical up to the point where they are mature enough to bare their seeds.

But that point of maturation is long down the road, when its roots have grown deep and have become difficult to pull without doing damage to, or even destroying, the true wheat around it.

The seeds of these darnel are black in color. They are poisonous – causing sleepiness, nausea, convulsions, and even death.

When reading commentary on these verses, I couldn’t help but think of how many traps I fell into while dating. I can’t help but think of all my brothers and sisters in Christ that may be in danger of being lead astray by a wolf in sheep’s clothing. I can’t help but think of all my brothers and sisters out there who may be in that spot of uncertainty, where there have been some red flags (enough of them, if they’re being honest with themselves), that are just afraid to let go…

Dating is such a difficult and even dangerous time. I so badly wish I could go back in time and re-do some conversations and stretches of my past, now that I have accepted the wisdom and guidance of the Lord.

Sadly, I cannot.

But for you reading, it may not be too late.

Dating is dangerous because people can easily hide behind mask. Dating is when people are the absolute best versions of themselves, or the version of themselves that they know you hope them to be. They even make promises based on that false self. Some make them in hopes of someday becoming the mask they wear.  Others make promises to secure whatever it is they are hoping for… Another date. A kiss. Sex. Marriage… Whatever their end goal is.

Some people wear their masks their whole lives, unable to accept that they are broken and in need of a Savior. They hide behind their jobs, their stuff, their beauty, their brains, they humor… Anything to keep from really examining the state of their heart and what it would look like to be honest with themselves and with others.

Brothers and sisters, they may be able to fool us and even themselves, but they can never fool the Lord.

The Lord knows the true heart of each human being. He knows their motives. He sees the path they are headed for. God is not bound by time as we are. He is in the past, present, and future constantly.

I implore you guys to take your relationship to the cross. Seek the face of Jesus. Ask Him for guidance and wisdom. Ask Him to make it clear to you what He wants for you.

Remember that every single thing He does for you is out of love for you and those around you. Remember that if He does happen to tell you or show you that that person is not for you, that He has something better in mind. Much better, as He always does.

Remember that if you take that leap of faith and trust Him with your relationship, even to the point of ending it, that He will be there, as close as your breath, to comfort and sustain you.

He said:

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are those who mourn,
    for they will be comforted.
Blessed are the meek,
    for they will inherit the earth.
Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
    for they will be filled.
Blessed are the merciful,
    for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are the pure in heart,
    for they will see God.
Blessed are the peacemakers,
    for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
    for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad,because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

(Matthew 5:3-12)

Remember that no human being on earth can ever love you as much as Christ. Remember that no human being on earth is worth more than Jesus. Remember that no human being on earth can ever give you the true and lasting joy, peace, identity, and purpose that He can.

Remember, you can trust Him.


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