Soul Mates or Spouses by Choice?

Locking and Unlocking: Wedding Vows

The above article is such a tremendous peek into the mystery and wonder of marriage.  Me and my hubby have been married almost 8 months now, and I still cannot believe how much we have grown as a couple.  We have fought through the hardest of times and enjoyed the best of times together.  Our relationship is full of laughter, but also full of effort and sacrifice.  Christ knew what He was doing when He created the covenant of marriage, and I am thankful for it.

I always tease Ethan and say, “we’re soul mates” when we both do the same ridiculous thing or learn the most ludicrous facts about each other… Like that my cheek fits perfectly in his eye socket… No joke.  Then one day, during a discussion, he asked me if I am married to him because God told me he was “the one.”  I pondered that for a while, and answered something along the lines of, “That’s part of it!”  And then he pointed out the fact that, while that is amazing because the Creator, who knows my heart’s desires and needs, has brought me a man He sees as suitable for me, He also loves me enough to let me choose.  Then he told me that if I were in a line of the most beautiful women in the world that were also highly compatible with him, he would still choose me.  He didn’t only marry me because God gave him the green light (which is pivotal), but that he wanted to choose me, above all the other possibilities out there, because… well… because he wanted to.

That is amazing.  The power of choice is a very big deal on this earth.  God nudges, God speaks, but we must choose the path, either the path to obedience and surrender, or the path we make for ourselves.  It is a choice to let the Lord guide your steps.  Our choice to obey, to surrender, to have faith, to worship Him are how we show the Lord we truly love him.  He does not force us to do so.  Just like the Lord did not force me to marry Ethan, or force him to marry me.  He brought us together with all of our gifts, talents, strengths, weaknesses, baggage, and brokenness and let US choose so that each day we spend together, every fight we have, we can always remember the most important facts – that God is for us, and that we chose to vow our lifetime, our energy, our love, our affection, our sexuality, everything to the one person we married – and how very big of a deal that is.

When I am being the biggest turd in the world, just a total putz… Ethan chooses to show me love and forgiveness.  He chooses to believe the best of me, even when faced with my worst.  If Ethan wasn’t given the choice to love me or not, if he was somehow forced to love me day in and day out, if it was a mechanical autopilot thing…  I wouldn’t see it as love, but as his job, an obligation, and nothing more.  It wouldn’t be special.  It may seem like a very daunting task in that moment of anger or frustration or hurt to show me love, but it is something he saw worthy to commit to for the rest of his life.  That is truly special.

My God, my Father that loves me, brought me a man.  He told me that he could be the one I marry.  He gave me nothing but green lights.  That man, though he knew he was also taking on the responsibility of another life, one that he played no part in, saw something special about me and got all green lights from the Lord as well.  There were hard times, harder than most dating people have to go through, including the moment he had to turn his back on his family because they thought and publicly announced the worst of me for having a child out of wedlock (though they do not acknowledge that I chose not to have an abortion).  Ethan chose me.  Regardless of what the world said, regardless of the verbal abuse from his family that we both had to endure, regardless of the reprimanding from friends because I have a child…  That man had to turn his back on the world for me, and he continues to do so on a daily basis because he believes I am worth fighting for.  Not just because God told him to, but because he chooses to each day out of love for me.

There is so much to be amazed by in marriage.  The power of choice is one of those things, and man… does it carry a lot of weight.  God’s lead + our choice = a very very big deal.

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4 thoughts on “Soul Mates or Spouses by Choice?

  1. Aida says:

    Oh, you made me cry with this one. The paragraph: My God, My Father that loves me….is exceptional. I will trust and wait on God. I turn 50 this year and plan to spend this year diving deeper into my relationship with God…first. If and when He decides to bring a man into my life, then it will be His will. And I like that feeling of handing over that awesome responsibility to the being that created me, My God. Keep writing. This is good stuff! Blessings. Tears are flowing!

    • Single Young Christian Mom says:

      Aida, thank you so much for commenting. You will be SO blessed by the path you are on. I am so happy for you that you are letting God lead you through this and so excited for whatever it is He has planned for you, which is sure to be far greater than we can ever imagine. God bless you, sister!!!

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