Right now, I am in a spot of no control mixed with financial struggle – both in my job and at home.
I feel helpless wondering where the money will come from that we need. Ethan won’t get paid till the end of September, we found out – and we weren’t prepared for that. So now we’re going off of my very humble income and our savings (thanking God for that savings). But the problem is, I’ve started to fear that my income may not be as guaranteed as we need right now.
The feeling of being totally out of control of our finances has been overwhelming me these last few days. Neither one of us can work harder to get paid more. This is totally out of our hands. All we can do is do the work, and pray for more. Needless to say, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed by the uncertainty of it all.
So I went to my meeting place with God – my journal and the Bible.
I journaled about all this. About being overwhelmed with the uncertainty. Trying to hang onto my faith, but the doubt and fear creeping back in. Wondering when my work and when my family’s finances would be able to get their heads safely above water. Knowing that God can provide, but praying hard that He WILL.
After my 2 page rant, I opened the Bible. Just to a random page. I truly believe that God can lead fingers, eyes, and thoughts to where we need to be in His word. He did that for me tonight, and I am so thankful.
I turned to Psalm 17: 14-15:
“You still the hunger of those You cherish;
their sons have plenty,
and they store up wealth for their children.
And I – in righteousness I will see Your
when I awake, I will be satisfied with
seeing Your likeness.”
This isn’t saying that those He cherishes will never experience hunger, because that hunger makes us grow, but He ALWAYS satisfies it, but in His timing. And then He provides even more – luxuries. And not necessarily just in the form of money. Wealth, comfort… all in different forms. The things our bodies and souls hunger for and then some. How great is our God?
Through the trial period we seek God – seek His will, ask Him to reveal what He is trying to teach us. We let Him mold us, fill in the gaps where we are weak, and build us stronger. We become more like Christ. We grow a deeper faith and find a greater trust in the Lord. He becomes even more solidified in us. That trial becomes priceless, essential to who we are and our journey with Christ.