You guys don’t know a whole lot about me, so I’m going to tell you about a quality of mine. I do not have a strong presence.
I am introverted in nature, in that large groups make me very nervous and uncomfortable if I’m not going with somebody I am already comfortable with. I prefer deep conversations to “shooting the breeze,” though I’m pretty good at getting to know new people. I am not, however, the type of person that wants to force my way into conversation or draw too much attention to myself.
It seemed that I am… well… forgettable.
I struggled with this for weeks. Having to re-introduce myself multiple times to people at my work, having to remind people that we’d met before (sometimes multiple times) and how… it really started to wear on my self-esteem and how I saw myself, especially when contrasted against two very memorable people – my husband and my best friend.
Was I really that unimportant? How am I so invisible? Why don’t people remember my face or my personality? Should I do something to change that?
I was fed up with feeling forgettable.
Then I began a journey with the Lord to figure out who the heck He made me to be, if He made me to be forgettable/does He make anybody to be forgettable, why it was hurting me so much, and where to go from there. Through this process, I came to know and appreciate and accept myself much, much more and learned key pieces to the puzzle that I hadn’t thought about after all that time.
I learned that though I may be forgettable to new acquaintances, I am a very important, irreplaceable, and unforgettable person to those God has given me to be in life with. My family, my husband, my daughter, my spiritual mentor, those I am mentoring, my old friends, my new friends, and the friends He will bring to me in the future, Christian and non-Christian alike. Anybody that knows my heart appreciates it, and that is irreplaceable to me.
I was made hyper-aware of my feelings brought on by people I don’t know well, and have made a lot of effort to make sure those I come in contact with do not feel like I have forgotten them. It’s about putting a 10 on everybody’s head every day. It’s about learning the importance of appreciating and noticing others, especially the ones that don’t stand in the spotlight, and may otherwise be thought of as “forgettable”.
John 15: 9-17
9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other.
I began leaning on Jesus more to help me be myself when walking into uncomfortable situations. Those times when I was on my way to work, or to volunteer, or to go to some gathering where I really wanted to gain some friendships, I would pray that God would calm me and help me to be who He designed me to be – not to pretend like I am somebody I’m not, even if that guaranteed being remembered. In Jesus’ name I rebuked all of my fears and anxieties. This has been a huge comfort and help to me, and I truly feel empowered and excited afterwards, and most importantly, comfortable in my own skin, just the way I am. Just the way He made me.
2 Timothy 1: 6-7
6 For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. 7 For the Spirit God gave us does not make us timid, but gives us power, love and self-discipline.
Then I accepted that my being remembered is not as important as Jesus being remembered, so my prayer transformed into asking God to shine through me. That He will help me to see people that need to be seen, and to make them feel special. That people I come in contact with see Him working through me, even if they don’t remember my name or who I am. I pray that seeds are planted, even if I’m not remembered as the one who sowed them.
John 1: 9-13
9 The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world. 10 He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. 11 He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. 12 Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— 13 children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God.
14 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
Ephesians 5: 8-10
8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 9 (for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 10 and find out what pleases the Lord.
I started to really believe that God deeply appreciates who I am, because He made me. Think about this, and let it sink in. God, who is perfect and doesn’t make mistakes, made you. If you picked up an empty canvas and every paint color imaginable was before you, and the end result was guaranteed to be perfect, wouldn’t you delight in it afterwards? Your completed masterpiece, finally finished and existing in the real world… would it not bring you great joy and pride? Some may overlook it, but you know what work and creativity and skill went into it. You know the time you took carefully planning and imagining. You will always appreciate it, because it’s your imagination come to life – it’s a part of you for all of the world to see. That’s how the Lord sees you. That’s how He sees me. That’s what matters most.
2 Corinthians 1:21-22
21 Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, 22 set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come.
8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast. 10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
I am learning to appreciate my uniqueness, as well as the uniqueness of others. God didn’t make me the person that catches everybody’s attention, and there is nothing wrong with that. I went to a volunteer appreciation dinner at my church, and the lead worship singer said the most beautiful and uplifting thing to us that made us feel deeply appreciated and irreplaceable. Something along the lines of, “I know that a lot of people long to be in the spotlight… to be the sparkle… but it’s not us up here that are out there in the streets bringing people to Jesus. It’s you guys. You guys are the ones pulling people out of their hell and into God’s arms. Without people like you, we’d be singing in a room of empty chairs every weekend.” The Lord made me with other gifts and strengths that make me special and that He uses for His kingdom and glory. My challenge to you is that you write out your strengths and gifts and keep them somewhere you can refer to them regularly.
1 Corinthians 12: 12-20
12 Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For we were all baptized by[c] one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. 14 Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.
15 Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18 But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19 If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, but one body.
It’s about learning, then accepting, and then finally believing that who God made you to be is special, unique, beautiful, irreplaceable, and priceless in its own right.
A man gave his testimony at my church last weekend and said, “I now believe in my heart that even if it were only me, Jesus still would have faced the cross to save me.” That is the truth that I will be clinging on to.
20 I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
6 You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7 Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. 8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
9 Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! 10 For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! 11 Not only is this so, but we also boast in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.